Stop complaining – and start taking charge!

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Written By: Ali Kasa

Life is stressful! we all get it and even if we argue that we are the happiest person in the world, we still complain sometimes. Especially during this tough time of pandemic covid-19, we might even complain more than we ever realised.


Covid -19 profoundly changed our way of living. With almost the entire world is at a standstill in order to contain the spread of the novel coronavirus, millions are losing jobs as we speak. The outbreak put greater pressure on everyone and whether like it or not, we all have to make important adjustments with our lifestyle. The uncertainty is indeed stressful. We humans hate the unknown and limited sense of control over life.


We All Know Complaining Is Bad and Yet, We Still Do It!

Complaining may be considered by many as an extension of being absolutely normal.  Afterall, it’s easier to complain instead of fixing a problem. Venting our fears and concerns can be beneficial but too much complaining would just drain both our energy and our desire to actually get up and fix what’s wrong. It certainly made matters worse. We end up become a victim of our own self-centred pity party.

Research shows that habitual complaining affects us mentally, emotionally, and physically. Complaining can actually rewire our brain over time and set us up for failure, time and time again, without even knowing it.

We All Know Complaining Is Bad and Yet, We Still Do It!

There Is A Better Way To Live!

The good news is that we can train our brain to stop complaining. No matter what you are facing today or what obstacles are in your life, we can stop this vicious cycle from affecting our life. Here are three tips to stop complaining and ditch the negative thoughts so both you and me can focus on finding solutions.

1.Turn complaining into gratitude.

We human often seek what we do not have and forget what we do have. It’s easy to focus on all of the negative things we may be faced with in life, but the best way to cut the habit of complaining is to cultivate a habit of gratitude. It is no secret that gratefulness is correlated with life fulfilment and happiness. Gratitude is the mental tool we use to remind ourselves of the good stuff. There is always something to be grateful about. You can be grateful that you are alive and have opportunities to learn and grow. The fact that you are still able to put food on table while others are struggling to make ends meet it’s something worth pondering. In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. Gratitude certainly doesn’t make problems and threats disappear. However, gratitude helps us to endure the tough times and heal the broken heart.

2. Write a letter to your future self

Have you ever written a letter to yourself? To some people, it may sound crazy but to me, it is an experience that I personally enjoy. This is part of self-reflection tool. Doing this exercise can be a really insightful experience.

Writing a letter addressed to your future self is a way to clarify and revisit experiences that you have been through in your life. It can help you deal with any overwhelming emotion by providing a safe space to conquer your fears, concerns and negative thoughts. You get to know yourself by revealing your most private fears, thoughts, and feelings. Imagine writing to your future self-5 years from now — what would you say? What kind of person you would be and what goals would you want to have accomplished? As you write your letter, you will start to think about the actions you should and should not take to realize them in your expected time frame.

Think about how powerful it might have been when you read this letter back to your future self.

3. Focus on self-growth

When government first declared a lockdown, like many other people, I was anxious, confused and reached the point where I felt I had too much free time. For some reason, hunkering down and waiting for the storm to pass might seem like the best way to meet this crisis. The reality is, sitting around and waiting for things to happen on its own is pointless. In order to be happy, we have to make decisions – to act.

Look at the bright side! This lockdown is an invitation for us to grow—to seize the opportunities to learn new skills. It could be as simple as taking online courses, read some books or if you like to get your hands dirty, brush up your culinary skill – whatever you like.  The human potential is limitless, so it’s impossible to reach a point of no growth.

Life is a series of peaks and valleys. At some point in your life, you will go through difficult times but when you have the right attitude and mindset, you will become resilient. You accept that things will go wrong but you focus on identifying a solution, implementing it and moving on instead of whining! Our thoughts are responsible for the amount of happiness we experience.

When you find yourself complaining again – remember to ask yourself, “would you rather complain, or be happy?? The choice is yours!!

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